This morning I’m off to Cost.co to stock up. I’m also going to try making muffin tin breakfasts to freeze and have on hand. School will be starting soon and I’d like to have a number of healthy breakfasts on hand.
Does anybody do this? Have any recipes? They don’t have to be breakfast, just easily frozen and healthy!
Good evening all!
I thought I’d check in and share a little crafty craft project I’ve been working on tonight.
I found the idea on Pinterest
a few days ago. It seemed brilliant, as I can never seem to find light switch plates that fit, that I like, or that don’t cost a ton.
So here we go.
All you need is:
1) Scracpbook paper
2) Mod Podge (I chose gloss)
3) Foam brush (sponge)
4) Exacto knife
Pretty easy right?
First, remove your light switch plate, place on wrong side of paper and trace, then, cut out.
Next, spread Mod Podge on plate switch AND wrong side of paper with a sponge brush.
Flip over and use one coat of Mod Podge. Let dry a little.
Then, take your Exacto knife and cut the outlet or switch holes.
Then, continue to add layers of Mod Podge, letting dry a bit between each layer.
This is my almost finished plate. I still need to work on the edges and apply a few more coats, but so far so good!
I am one to judge a book by it’s cover. Literally. I am drawn to books that are visually enticing. I chose them by the jacket color, the illustration, the size, the number of pages. As an avid reader, I also like to physically see the book so that I know whether or not I have read it. Owning a Nook makes it difficult for me to select my reads. So much more convenient than trying to load up the kids and go to the book store. Better than trying to make a selection with the seven year old yelling “but mooom, over here!”
But still, I find it difficult.
Recently I selected the novel Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.
I had never read her work before and had no idea that this was actually her third book. The story of a missing wife and a failing marriage and how the husband looks increasingly guilty as the investigation wears on. I LOVED it. Well written, impossible to guess, and completely captivating.
After reading Gone Girl I went back to search other novels by Flynn. My next selection was Dark Places.
A woman confronting her past, looking for answers regarding the mid-night slayings of her mother and two sisters. Again, amazing!
This morning during nap time I finished up Sharp Objects, which was actually Flynn’s debut novel. Again, I couldn’t put it down. Completely captivating.
It’s not often that I hit upon an author that I can’t get enough of. One that is so captivating that I could devour an entire novel in one sitting. (If I had endless alone time and nothing to do.)
My only regret in reading these three novels so quickly is that I am finished, and there are no more. We definitely need another Gillian Flynn book!
We’ve had this insane fly problem for like three days now. No idea why. The trash is in a cupboard and is not overflowing. The doors are closed. There are no dishes piled in my sink. We just have flies.
So this morning, after hanging fly tape last night and catching about four, I decided I needed to take some serious action. I got online and googled “how to kill house flies.” Hundreds of sites popped up, and so I set about making home made fly traps with my son.
The first, a jar filled with water, white sugar, brown sugar, and mashed banana, all things flies are sure to be attracted to, only worked if we took the lid off, let a fly in, snapped the lid on and swished him into the substance. VERY time consuming and only fun for the kid for about 10 minutes.
The second, simple enough, cut off the bottom portion of a water bottle and add apple cider vinegar and sugar. It didn’t work.
So then upon checking more sites I found one that said to spray the fly with hairspray, making it unable to fly, and then vacuum it up with the hose attachment.
And so I armed the kid with a can of hairspray, got out the vacuum attachment, and instructed him to start spraying on my word, “GO!”
Well I’m proud to say that the house is now pretty much fly free, and A wants to be an exterminator when he grows up.
WE RULE!
And now I most go mop the floors and clean the window sills and wrangle the can of hairspray away from the kid!
Well guys, my old friend xeroxlore is back with a new name. WTF? How do you block someone that actually changes names to get to you? Getting creepy…suggestions?
So first day out on the river husband hits a sandbar, $1500.00 worth of damage to the boat. If ever I need you all to pull together and wish the poops on someone, it is now!!! Because the thing is, I know husband. He was fiddling with the radio, his attention was on the person speaking to him or he was reading an email on his phone. Because that is how husband rolls.
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
Husband works in an industry in which socializing, dinners and shmoozing are the norm. On occasion, I have to attend dinners with him and, *ahem*, socialize. Honestly, not my strong point. I get tongue tied and nervous when having to conversate with these hospital directors wives. As in any social situation we always manage to get around to the subject of children. In fact, its usually the first thing spoken about, considering it is the one point of interest that many people have in common. Most times in these cases, however, these people’s children are often closer to my age or just getting married or are off in Spain or France or Italy to study abroad. Diapers, nap times, play dates and first grade are faint memories, old photographs that bring a smile to their lips. So when talking about children, husband likes to share Avery’s adoption story. I’m not all that thrilled, and I wonder when her adoption isn’t go to be a major focus of his story anymore. I mean, there will come a point when she’s not going to be too thrilled if he introduces her as Avery our adopted daughter, this is how it all went down. The other part of his story that I am FAR. LESS. THRILLED. ABOUT. is the part where he captivates his audience by sharing my journey through IVF and miscarriage. It is my story. Yes it is his story too, but it is mostly mine. It is still raw and it is still one that makes me cry. And I can not cry at a table with professionals. So inevitably, I have to excuse myself to the restroom, gather my wits and return to the table with a smile on my face.
Well, last night, it somehow got brought up. And I kindly and gently informed husband that I wished that he didn’t speak so freely of my IVF and miscarriages to people that we don’t know or have just met in a purely professional environment. His reaction was not at all what I expected. Instead of responding in a respectful and understanding manner, he informed me that I needed to get over it. GET OVER IT. “You have a baby”, he said, “You need to just get over it. It’s not a big deal anymore.” I started to cry.
I was stunned.
How could weeks and months of shots and medications and weight gain and pain and spending our entire savings be nothing?
How could going to the doctor’s office by myself and learning that the tiny little thing in my uterus didn’t have a heart beat any longer be nothing?
How could suffering from severe morning sickness day after day only to learn that the sac is growing nicely but that it is empty be nothing?
How can two D&C procedures in five months time be nothing?
And so I explained to him that it was by far the most difficult journey I have ever been on and that it was the worst part of my life thus far. I then told him that he was a narccistic asshole that needed sensitivity training and that I wasn’t speaking to him anymore.
Because here is the deal. I am still infertile. He is still infertile. We are still infertile. AND IT STILL HURTS.
Yes I have a baby now. A beatiful, wonderful baby girl who was brought to us not through biology but through the court system. We love her just the same. There is no doubt in my mind that she is my daughter and I don’t love her a smidge less just because she wasn’t born to me. But you know? I am greedy. I don’t know if I’m done yet. I may want another. And guess what? I can’t just go to bed with my husband when we decide we are ready to try. I have to contact the social workers, have them assess whether or not we are ready for another, have my home re-inspected, and then sit and wait and hope. And once we are placed again, I have to live in fear for 8 months that some long lost relative will come out of the woodwork to steal the baby away. I am still infertile. The fact that I now carry a baby on my hip and can no longer pee in private has nothing to do with my husband’s reproductive system. It has nothing to do with the shape of my uterus or the condition of my eggs.
And my story, my own private story, still hurts.
Infertility and what we’ve gone through doesn’t go away with a baby. The hurt may be less acute. We may not think of it every second of every day like we did before baby. But it is still there. In the back of our minds, we know when we are ovulating and we are still hoping against all hope that a miracle will occur at the end of the month. Even with baby, we are still just infertile women who are lucky enough to, through science or the system, achieve motherhood. We are still sitting on the sidelines, rooting everyone on, being equal parts ecstatic and jealous when a successful cycle is announced. Jealous when one of us ”graduates” to the OB, jealous because some of us will never experience a successful cycle and some of us will never graduate to the OB.
Now husband is on the road, off to my brother’s bachelor party, off to have a hell of a time after breaking my heart. And I am sad. And angry. And I hope he gets food poisoning or heat exhastion or something equally terrible but not bad enough to kill him. Because hey, on top of feeling sad and angry, I am also feeling just a tad bit vengeful. And maybe, just maybe, I’d be secretly gleeful if he had to sit on the toilet while everyone else was out having fun.
My heart is also heavy this morning after watching the news and learning of the shooting out in Colorado. I can’t even begin to think of a scarier thing happening then being in a darkened theatre and having a smoke bomb go off followed by gun fire. My heart goes out to the families of the victims. Of course I don’t know them personally, but I was still brought to tears. How selfish for one person, one evil piece of humanity, to snuff out so many bright, shining souls. No matter what his motive, it will never be good enough. No motive will ever truly explain why. No motive can ever justify such calculated cruelty. In the coming days people will wonder. They will wonder about his mental health and his childhood. They will wonder if he lost his job or was failing out of school or if his parents didn’t hug him enough or if maybe his parents hugged him too much. But all of the wondering won’t do a damn thing. And really, if all of the questions are answered, will it matter? Will it bring back those who died in such a horrific way? Will it erase the nightmares of the survivors? Will it take away their guilt for surviving when their best friend or brother or neighbor didn’t? No, it won’t. I couldn’t imagine my children being taken from me, in such an innocent venue, in such a vicious way. There would be no excuse. There would be no explaination that would soothe me.
Anyway, I know that these two subjects are vastly different but they are what is on my mind right now.
I have approximately 2, maybe 3 hours a day to get done everything that I need to get done. Otherwise, as I try to complete tasks, I have a 13 month old clutching my calves, screaming “Ouch, OWWWWW MOMMA, Ouch.” Ouch is the new go-to word when she is not getting exactly what she wants. And exactly what she wants is to be sitting on my lap or to be held. And as much as I try, that is not possible 24/7. There are toilets to clean and carpets to vaccuum and dishes to be put away. So as it is, all I hear these days is ouch.
She is getting better with noises but is still downright terrified of the vaccuum. But I need to vaccuum frequently, as there is nothing she finds that doesn’t go in her mouth. It is a constant battle to one, keep things out of her mouth, and two, fish the things out that she manages to get in. We’re talking anything.
Last week I took both kids, along with my mom and 12 year old sister, on a road trip to Northern California. My Aunt had captained a Relay for Life team, in honor of my mom’s battle with cancer, in her home town. We went, as did my Grandparents and several aunts and cousins.
Ok, here is where I quickly get my vhenting out of the way. July has been and continues to be an Expensive month for us this year. With the purchase of a new car, my trip with the kids, husband’s upcoming trip to Laughlin, NV for my brother’s bachelor party, and then buying what we need in tuxes and dresses and then a gift for the wedding itself, it has been a lot. I had a budget for my trip. It was minimal, but I made it work and I stuck to it. Enough for necessities and a couple of souvineers for the kids. Nothing for myself but glasses of wine with my dinners. I used my last 10 dollars to buy a latte and a chocolate milk in the last hour of the drive home. As it was known, husband would be needing money for Laughlin. The idea was that he would kick back on his spending while I was away to make both trips work. Let’s face it, taking two trips in one month is a strain on any family, but the relay was important as is my brother’s bachelor party. Husband did not stick to his budget. As I’m balancing our checkbook this morning, I begin seeing all these charges. Gas money for the boat. Sushi. A winery dinner. A visit to a wine bar. These things are not cheap and they are not things that you do, each night of the week when you are on a budget. And so, here I am, once again, trying to make it all work. Husband has no concept of the word “budget.” It isn’t in his vocabulary. It is in my vocabulary, but is more often replaced with “HOLY SHIT” and “Don’t worry I’ll make it work.” And I am totally in “HOLYSHITDONTWORRYI’LLMAKEITWORK” mode right now. And I am frustrated.
I am lucky enough to stay at home. I was substitute teaching a few times a week before the baby came, but now I’m 100% at home. Husband wants me at home. I want to go back to subbing a few days a week, but he doesn’t feel that it is worth it. But I hate not contributing at least something financially. And I know that I’ve complained about it before, but I have applied for job after job (I say that loosely as this summer there have been 9 NINE jobs in my field come available) and I haven’t gotten a call back, except once, while I was up North and they wanted to do the interview the next day.
I would like to branch out of the field of education, but I need to have the sort of flexibility that being in education gives. I didn’t adopt my baby to work in an office and have her be in daycare from 7am to 6pm each and every day. I’d like to start looking for some writing jobs but do not know where to start and do not know how to tell if the jobs are legit or not. And then, of course, my old friend, self-doubt, rears her ugly head. I am not a good enough writer. I can’t do it. So, does anyone know of any legit sites that I can find information?
All right well the baby is awake and the ouches haven’t started yet but I imagine that they will be starting soon! I’ll be following along with you all and routing for each and every one of you!
xoxo
Finally got to sleep last night, and I slept well. Only up once with a quick inhaler dose for the big boy. He slept until 9 and the baby slept until about 7!
Husband decided to stay home, which was nice because he let me go back to sleep for an hour or so after giving baby a bottle..not so nice because he tags along with us on our day and then we all have to revolve our day around his phone…
The dogs are getting groomed and we are out at the lake sitting by the pool. We would have left by now but the baby managed to fall asleep
She is sleeping on the lounge chair between my legs, and A has found a friend to play frisbee with in the pool.
No reason to break up the party when everyone is content.
I am reading 50 Shades of Grey, and while I’m not sure whether or not I like it exactly, I still can’t put it down. Have any if you read it? What do you think?
I am also thinking that I finally want to finish painting my living room. The main walls are “creme puff” (cream colored with a yellow base) and I’m thinking of adding in some blue. Any ideas on a good blue? I’d like a grey base but still light in color.
I really like this color but worry that it is too gray to go with cream
Thoughts?
Anyway, sorry for the ramble!
